Category Archives: Facing my fears

Clear the fear of reaching out

Just this morning I was talking to my friend and colleague, Craig Homonnay in Adelaide, Australia on facebook. We’ve become acquainted via Matt Sison’s yahoo forum over a few years and just a couple of months ago, I messaged him on facebook to do a bit of scouting for my visit to Australia. As a result of our communication I’ve started to really get to know what makes him tick and what his work is all about. In return, I think he’s getting to know me too and how I work. The technology the world has at the moment is amazing! We really do belong to a global village. And what a responsibility comes with the raising of consciousness that all these growing ‘synaptic links’ are creating around planet Gaia!

Giving others a platform

I’ve been reaching out to therapists like this in the UK and around the world over several years now seeking interesting souls to share their work on my teleseminar service, to promote their work and in so doing promote mine. I’ve been looking for people who share a common starting point as me, but who may manifest that gift in a different way. So for example, my nutritionist has a similar outlook to mine, and to achieve her results she uses her insight into people coupled with her knowledge about food and nutritional values. However, reaching out to ask people to promote me is another question.

The Fear of Reaching out

It’s only as I continue with this journey to get  my Clear the Fear workshops known  and launched in Australia that I realise how much fear has stopped me asking for what I need in my business. In fact, I’ve probably not even realised what I need, relying more on my own resourcefulness than daring to ask others to help. Now I’m not talking about hiring people to help me with the technical challenges of running my business: the website, the design, the hosting.  I’m very good at knowing what I need, what I want it to look like, and how to hire people to help me. I’m talking about the real collaboration with my colleagues to create something greater than either of us might be able to create on our own.

My biggest block

I think my biggest block there has been admitting that I might need their help. That I’m not all strong and untouchable in my shiny ivory tower. But more than that, there’s been a fear of not wanting to dilute my approach, or my perspective by inviting other people to comment or contribute to my work.  And if I don’t want to allow that to happen and trust myself to exercise discernment, embracing elements that enhance and dismissing those that don’t, then my work lacks a certain vibrancy and responsiveness to those it serves.

The benefit in understanding the block

Reaching out

Reaching out

It’s a block I’ve really slowly been addressing for a few years but it’s been brought into sharp focus with my trip to Australia. I have had to really make myself vulnerable and ask for help. Help from people who I may otherwise never have asked for help from. From people who work differently but whose motivation is the same: to spread their little bit of magic in their way in their part of the world. And in daring to ask them, I realise our common goals and ambitions. It’s a humbling experience.

Shift of perspective

I find in having to ask for help, I’m looking for our common ground and not our differences, for concepts that we share, and not the ideas that divide us.  It’s bringing out such a warm feeling of common humanity in me as I dare to ask for what I need to make my work known and successful in Australia.

How am I doing it?

Necessity is the mother of invention, as they say. I have committed. I have stepped through a portal and said to myself, right. Let’s just keep open. Let’s keep asking. And you know what I’ve discovered? Most people want to help if they feel you are coming from a genuine open hearted space.

The result?

People are stepping forward and offering me help and support from Sydney and Melbourne.  Some of the professional organisations are publishing my articles, helping me find an audience, offering to put me in contact with friends and colleagues, and basically to support me any which way they can.

And I need more help

I still need a heap of stuff to get my work known down under. I’m still looking for a venue in Sydney to host my 2 day workshop and some of the following:

  • Anyone working in local or national publications who might want to interview me: from schizophrenic to transpersonal therapist
  • Local radio stations with a personal development flavour
  • Local interest groups or charities
  • Therapy organisations and groups
  • Room Hire in Sydney

Dare I ask anyone for this? Can you help? This is how I’m working to clear the fear of asking. Just ask. Confront it. And just wait and see what turns up. So if you can help, comment below or message me direct by clicking here.

 

 

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First steps

Freedom comes from taking responsibilityI’d always said I wanted to travel, to learn from some of the masters around the world, metabolise and process their teachings and bring them all together in a powerful mastery of personal transformation so that I could inspire others to do the same.  I dreamed of it.  I could taste it and see it. And now all my excuses not to do it have fallen away! My daughter is nearly independent, I am officially partner free, my work has taken the most inspired turn in the last year as I have realised my growing freedom to be me through my continued thirst for personal development and growth. And my thanks to Kimberley Lovell, Orianne Corman, and Nick Williams for their inspired support and insights which have helped me on my own path.

Yikes! Hellfire. So let me just take stock. So you mean, Jen, now’s the time? Yes indeedy. Now’s the time. No more hiding out, sitting behind my computer, waiting for people to come to me. No more waiting for the right time. The right time IS now.

First steps

So my first step was to apply to a number of international therapy organisations to offer a talk about my landmark work about my Clear the Fear workshops. When I’d sifted through what came back from those initial applications, a clear opportunity presented itself to visit Australia. Australia! Ok. So first things first. If I presented at the Australian Hypnotherapy Association’s 65th Annual Conference, who was going to pay what? Flights, Accommodation, Conference fees, etc.

I rapidly realised that the AHA were paying for nothing except my conference fees for one day. One day! No speaker fee. No accommodation provision. No travel allowance. So it had to be completely self funded if I wanted to take up this opportunity.  Naturally, I dithered. And I dallied around a bit, telling myself I could talk at a conference far nearer to home if I wanted to.  In fact I let it drift for a good few weeks before I decided to commit to the experience.

Committing to the experience

And even in committing, I have found that that has only just started the ball rolling. The committing has simply provided a doorway, a portal that I now need to step through to realise how else the commitment to the experience will cause me to grow and what it will bring with it. And I’m fearful.  Honestly.  It’s both wondrous and terrifying.  You’d think I was going to my own death the way at times it feels.  To have to trust the process and allow myself to ‘cross over’ into the world of spontaneity, networking and opening up to possibility is scary.  I have to learn to go with the flow, stop trying to control and start really relating to people who are there to help me, if I am too.

And then, at the moment I feel the fear, and in particular in my stomach, I’m learning to take note of it. I allow it to stop me in my tracks. I look at it and ask myself just what it’s trying to tell me? what will it do to me? is there any reason I should trust it?…And when it realises it’s been seen, my whole autonomic nervous system settles down. I reach a place of calm and I realise it’s just fear. It’s just fear born of thoughts that my success depends on reaching out to people, trusting and allowing others to help me.

DSC_1788For a supposedly strong, independent woman that’s a scary prospect. And I am strong. In fact, strength is not the absence of weakness. It is the ability to embrace your weakness and still keep true to your dreams, allowing your heart to carry you through. At least that’s what it feels like for me right now. And I know I’m going to have to catch my fears regularly and go through this process many times as I let go of the fear and embrace the adventure.

If you can help me find accommodation, get room hire sorted, or help me on my journey I’d love to hear from you. If you would love to take part in my workshop events where I take you on a journey into your own psyche and your own heart so you can spy your own fears and transform them, fill in the sign up box above and let me keep in touch with you.

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