How I overcame my biggest fear

The Ancestral Legacy

It was tough. I was a lone parent of a small child with a crazy ex husband. All of my mother bear instincts kicked in, and the more he shook my cage, the more fearful and anxious I became about letting this madman near my daughter. It brought up all manner of unresolved childhood issues about not being seen nor heard nor recognised for who I really was. This went back to my earliest years as I wrestled with my own invisibility as a young child in a family where my father was spiritually, mentally and emotionally absent with my mother in a state similar to the one that I was in, also unseen and unrecognised in her past. The baton had been faithfully passed on. I was indignant. Outraged. Why could my daughter’s father not ‘see’ me? And further, if he couldn’t see me, how could I trust that he would ‘see’ her?

Being intelligent was no antidote

I lived anxiety and fear. On the surface I looked ok. I was functional. I was intelligent and educated. I’d been a teacher in secondary school, College and University. I was really good with kids and young people. I knew what they needed. I could ‘see’ them in a way that no one else could. They thrived. I survived.

Deep roots of fear into the past

To me, it looked like my problem was ‘those people out there’. Even though I’d practised for many years the Buddhist philosophy of oneness of self and environment, and had even experienced shifts in the past, when it came to my mothering instinct, my deepest protective instinct sprung to the fore. The roots of this instinct went straight into my own wounded past and they were deeply implanted.

The observer mind

I was training as a therapist at the time. I was sick of the fear. Thoroughly fed up with it. And one day I dared to imagine what it would be like when I had cleared this fear. I meditated deeply on a session I’d experienced on my course. I realised that fear and anger were partners in my life, one provoking the other. Each feeling fully justified for existing and yet at the same time, being conjured up only from my past experience. I looked at them from all angles. They were interesting and destructive bedfellows.

Emotional and Physical healing from profound realisation

open minded peopleAs part of my personal enquiry at that time, I dared to see my life and my value as completely separate from anyone else. I dared to cherish me just as though I was my own child. I dared to allow my daughter’s father to just be the person he was, complete in his flaws and his inconsistencies. And I realised that how he was had nothing whatsoever to do with me. It was no reflection of MY value…unless I made it so. This deep, visceral epiphany went hand in hand with so many changes at that time that I used my Buddhist practice to just stay focussed on my deeper reality, perceiving all other feelings or emotions as transient phenomena that only had power if I believed so. As I let each one go, blessing them for their place in my life up to that point and releasing them, I experienced profound liberation. The healing was as much physical as emotional as years of digestive issues calmed right down.

Fearless connection with others

My therapy practice took off immediately. I asked deep questions about the nature of my clients troubles. And as I could see the transient nature of my own emotional reality, I profoundly saw the stories and illusions that my clients believed were their truth. It made connecting with my clients, my daughter, my family more meaningful. And it relieved me of a profound anxiety I had been carrying on behalf of my own inner child, my daughter and even my mother. My liberation, liberated them both.

Our own journey lights the way for others to tread

I have learned that all emotions are transient phenomena. They come and they go. It is only when we hold on to fear, anger, anxiety, rage, resentment, hostility and low level vibrational energy that we create a reality that stunts us and stops us sharing our gifts with the world.
And I still get spells where another layer of fear lets itself be known. Resignedly and sometimes reluctantly, I acknowledge I have more work to do to clear the fear. And then I embark on another stage of my journey so that I can bring all that is me and my experience to help others through theirs.

Can I light a path for you?

And this is where I directly share the wonder of personal epiphany with you on my Clear the Fear wokshop. My Clear the Fear workshop is a beautiful collaboration between you and me, an opportunity for me to help you, in the safety of a small group of other like minded souls, tease out your blocks and fears, embody them, negotiate with them, and then gain a more deeply confident and peaceful perspective. Confronting your unconscious fears and giving yourself a chance will set in motion all manner of support to enable you to continue to grow and explore your deeper layers of self. Every single workshop is created uniquely by your amazing stories, the inspired chemistry in the room, and me your Director as I seek for the diamond inside, underneath all the layers of compacted fear you thought you needed to stay safe.

I’m in Sydney and Melbourne in September 

For just two events in September in Sydney (20th and 21st September) and Melbourne 28th September), I am travelling from the UK to deliver these powerful, life changing workshops. If you want to be part of it, you need to raise your hand early. I’ll also be speaking on the 13th September at the Australian Hypnotherapy Association’s 65th Annual Conference and at the Association of Clinical Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy Meeting in Melbourne on 23rd September.  I am excited and fearful too about travelling so far and delivering my life’s work! Catch up with how I deal with my own fears on this blog. 

And make sure you book on! Hop over to my Australian Personal Development Workshops page and book on today.

I can bring this Clear the Fear workshop to you. Email me and let’s have a chat and see what we can set up.
Jenny x
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Jenny is a Transpersonal Therapist, Trainer, Author, Supervisor and Mentor embracing the mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of health and wellbeing. She works with therapists helping them grow and embody the changes they wish to see in their clients, clearing their fear, and walking their talk so that they too can become leaders of authenticity. As a result of their experience with Open Mind, many students of Jenny’s Open Mind Training have developed highly authentic and successful careers in the disciplines of counselling, psychotherapy and hypnotherapy. To discover how you too can benefit, take a look round the resources on